Only If I Want To…

stencil.instagram-postThis photo was inspired by a client I worked with last week. She has made tremendous progress in her coaching program because she has stopped say “yes” to things she doesn’t want to do. As we were in the middle of her session the words “only if I want to…” came out of her mouth. I told her that was her new mantra “only if I want to…”.

What are you doing that you don’t want to do? What are you tolerating? I challenge you to adopt the mantra “only if I want to…”. This will help you eliminate stress and distractions. Then, you can focus on the things you truly want to do.

Save this photo to your phone and/or screen saver to remind you that you only are going to say “yes” “only if I want to”.

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Are You Living a Fruitful Life?

Be Fruitful
Live a Fruitful Life

Living a fruitful life requires you deal with the pits at one time or another. Life isn’t easy. No one ever said it was. However, we often get stuck and fall into a stooper that can lead to clinical depression if left unchecked.

What stops you from leading a fruitful life? Is it the hard work that is needed to see results? Is it the economic expense or the investment of your time?

Life is too precious to waste. God gave each of us unique talents. I firmly believe he wants us to use the gifts he gave us. He wants us to be successful. But, he never said it was going to be easy. Look around your home. What is in your trash? Did you throw away fruits and vegetables that rotted because you were not willing to make time to prepare them for eating? Are there clothes in the trash that you didn’t want to take the time and work on getting that stain out or that needed a button sewed on? If you look at your credit card or bank statements how often were you charged a late fee or over-limit fee because you didn’t take the time to manage your finances? Living in chaos can lead to feelings of malaise and depression.

Leading a fruitful life requires you to respect you, your money, your time and the gifts you were given. You can do this by keeping a daily agenda. Know your purpose for the day. Why are you doing what you are doing? If your calendar is blank then find something with a purpose to do. Volunteer in the community, job hunt, help a friend or neighbor. Do something that will help you reach your life goals and that compliments your life mission. People need to be needed. You are no different. If you find yourself unemployed or you are new to retirement find a new purpose. Make time to write your personal mission statement.

Admit your weaknesses and areas you are lazy and focus on overcoming these obstacles. I know when I buy fruit and vegetables I need to process them right away for eating or that cantaloupe, watermelon, cucumbers, cherries etc will sit and rot. Why do they sit and rot – because I get lazy and am not willing to do the work to enjoy them? What a waste of money. It is OK to stop and think about why you do what you do or don’t do.

Self-improvement and personal growth is another key area to leading a fruitful life. Think how water that just sits becomes stagnant. You don’t want to become that barrel of nasty water that becomes a breeding ground for misquotes. Again, if you are new to retirement or currently unemployed invest in personal growth activities to keep your skills marketable and your mind busy.

Respect you and your resources. Know your purpose. Know your weaknesses or what you don’t like. Keep moving forward in life. Embrace life. When you do these things it will make dealing with the pits a whole lot easier so that you can enjoy a fruitful life. A fruitful life does not require money. It is what is felt on the inside. Whoever said “life is like a bowl of cherries” was right – you must deal with the pits to enjoy the sweet fruit.

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Are ready to start living your life purpose? 
Contact Jaynine Howard at  910-539-2810.  

Five Tips to Controlling Summertime Chaos

newsletterCHAOSkidsRegardless of your age, marital or socioeconomic status, at one time or another, you will experience stress and anxiety. Each changing season produces different stressors. Summertime has the pendulum swinging from how to keep children from fighting and saying they are bored to keeping them free from sunburns to an upcoming move to a new neighborhood. The body’s initial reaction to stress is fight or flight. Symptoms of excess stress include feeling mentally and physically exhausted, problems sleeping, tension headaches, bowel disturbances, a lowered immune system, and irritability.

Here are five tips to control summertime chaos:

1. Laugh. You have probably heard that laughter is the best medicine. Research shows that laughing produces endorphins which cause you to relax, experience joy, and ease pain. When feeling stressed picking up the telephone and speaking with a friend can often bring a smile to your face that will aid in producing the feel good endorphins. Also, turning on the television and watching your favorite sitcom can aid in reducing stress and anxiety.

2. Evaluate your diet. Limit caffeinated products because caffeine is a stimulant. Alcohol consumption should also be restricted since alcohol is a depressant. Choose fresh fruits and vegetables over commercially processed items. Eating fresh fruits and vegetables are easier for your body to digest than commercially processed foods such as cookies and chips. However, there is nothing wrong with occasionally indulging your chocolate craving.

3. Exercise. Engaging in exercise is another way for your body to produce endorphins. Taking time for a walk after dinner or meeting a friend for a game of racquetball can raise your level of feel good endorphins while getting you in shape physically and mentally.

4. Have a MAP (Master Action Plan). When you stop to think about what is causing anxiety such as an upcoming move or the absence of a spouse during a deployment you can develop strategies to cope with the stress. Creating a step by step plan on how to walk through the action will allow you to empower yourself by taking charge of the situation. If you are experiencing stress on how to keep the children entertained during summer vacation you can develop a daily schedule so that the child knows what to expect throughout the day; children thrive on routine. Having a Plan A is great but having Plan B and Plan C will ensure you have covered whatever may be thrown at you with minimal disruption.

5. Increase Productivity. Productivity creates an atmosphere of positive change and is more fruitful than worrying and doing nothing.

It is impossible to ignore or reduce all stressors from our lives. However, when you are able to recognize your limits of stress and know how to use practical strategies to reduce stress you will control summertime chaos. Therefore, laugh and exercise to raise your endorphin level. Be productive and design your MAP to navigate stressful situations. Lastly, don’t forget to occasionally indulge your chocolate craving and enjoy your summer.

Finish It Up Friday: Why I Don’t Require My Team to Work on Friday

unnamedFriday – oh how that word can invoke a series of fleeting emotions ranging from dread to delight.

I have coined the phrase Finish It Up Friday as a way to make a mindset shift from dread to delight. It is the day to sleep in an extra hour. It is the day to enjoy that first cup of morning coffee knowing there are no real deadlines for the day. There is no better way to start a Friday than listening to the birds chirping, reading morning inspiration, and enjoying that first cup of coffee.

I and my team work long arduous hours Monday thru Thursday. We do not prescribe to a normal 8 hour day. My day is typically starting by 5 or 6 am and ends around 10 or 11pm. My team works diligently providing fabulous services and meeting deadlines so that I meet my deadlines so my clients meet theirs. Much of what my team does for me is often not seen by others. They are busy researching and gathering statistics for my clients or for whatever program I am currently working on. They are busy writing media releases, preparing marketing materials, proofreading and taking care of the invoicing.

Just as many of us observe Sunday as a day of rest I and my team observe Friday as a day of rest. Adopting a casual Friday allows me and my team to recharge our batteries. When we have a fresh brain we are more creative. Also, since they know that I do not expect them to be available on Friday they know they can schedule personal appointments and plan their time off accordingly without fear that there will be work that needs to be completed.

Not much quality work gets completed when you or your employees are mentally exhausted. Using Friday to follow up with clients, finish up a few tasks or projects, and plan for the following week is a great way to unwind and prepare to enjoy the weekend. I am usually only at my desk a few hours on Friday morning taking care of loose ends. Making time to review my week and self-reflect on what went surprisingly well and what was a bit off provides me growth opportunities. I learn from the lessons of the week.

Designing a plan for the upcoming week has shown to increase productivity and increase income. Taking time to plan the tasks I will delegate, prepare for client sessions, and set aside time for writing also reduces the stress that would normally be felt if I had not planned to enjoy a successful week. I have learned when planning what I will delegate I must set up my emails to my team so they do not post until Monday morning because they are so very dedicated they will work on the tasks over the weekend regardless of the due dates.

Finish It Up Friday is a great way to self-reflect on your week, finish up projects or tasks that didn’t get completed, and prepare for the new upcoming week. Know your energy level and planning for self-care is key to success. I encourage you adopt a Finish It Up Friday and allow your employees extra time off. They will reward you with continued hard work, an increase in productivity and creativity as well as loyalty.

The Road to Success – Adopt the Three Ls – Love You, Lose the Excuses, Learn Something New

Business owners, wives, and moms often find themselves short on time and energy. They are busy juggling a myriad of tasks. Remember, it only takes someone 15 seconds to sum you up and form an opinion. Whether right or wrong that is what happens. No one likes to be around a whiney person or someone who looks a mess.

In order to reclaim YOU so you stop sabotaging your efforts- you must adopt the three L’s:

Love You – Make time each day to do something for you. You must fall in love with yourself all over again. Now is the time to purge your closet of any items that make you feel fat or ugly. Purge your refrigerator and cupboards of all foods that make you feel sluggish or guilty. If you are a business owner does your office reflect your personality? Are your surroundings or where you spend most of your waking hours conducive to good mental health? Many of us cannot function when we are surrounded by clutter. Clutter is not only present in your home or office it is also in your car. Clear the clutter so you can unplug and feel good about you. Do not forget to make time to exercise. This does not require investing in a gym membership or expensive clothing. You can put on a comfortable pair of shoes and go for a walk. When you exercise, you will improve your mental clarity and strengthen your heart. Now is the time to make time to take care of you. It is not greedy to love you.

Lose the Excuses – Now is the time to stop playing the blame game. Lose the excuses. Stop blaming the economy, the children, your spouse, or the family pet. You must accept responsibility. If you are short on cash, rework your budget. If you are short on time start budgeting your time. Learn to say no. You have a voice and it needs to be heard. If the children are making demands that strain the family budget, learn to say “no”. If you have family and friends making demands on your time say “no”. People are not mind readers. They often do not have access to your day planner to see that you are over tasked. People will not stop being your friend or associate if you say “no”. When you lose the excuses you will be organized and in control of your situation. This will result in less stress and anxiety in your daily life.

Learn something new – A fundamental part of being successful is always learning something new. You must invest in you so you can grow personally and professionally. This can be something as inexpensive as reading a library book or article online from a quality source. You may want to invest in a weekend retreat or class at your college. Online learning makes it easy to invest in you. You can often listen and learn from the comforts of your home. Do not dismiss investing in you. In order to be successful as a business owner, wife, or mother you must invest in learning something new each day.


Regardless of the role we play we all want to be successful. When you adopt the three L’s you will be on the road to reclaiming your life and being successful. You will reap many benefits when you make time to love you, lose the excuses, and invest in you.

Tips for Falling Back In Love With Your Business

customersLoveYouWe all hit that brick wall at times where we are no longer jumping out of bed each morning excited to start our day. When you find yourself lying in bed dreading to get up and start your day you know it is time to do some self-reflection and find out what is zapping your energy.

Retreat from Your Business and Self Reflect
1. Mission & Vision – are you still honoring your original mission and vision for your business? If not, why did you get led down a different path? Were you chasing money to pay the bills instead of following your heart? Make time to review your mission and vision statement and update as necessary.

2. Evaluate Your Circle of Influence – do you have a support system that truly cares about you and your business? Do you have people sabotaging your efforts or belittling your goals and dreams? Use the attachment to take the time to evaluate your circle of influence. Make necessary adjustments so you can thrive.

3. Work Less – I know this may sound impossible but a few years ago my Coach told me to stop working so many hours. Set office hours and honor them. Use my productivity tracker to see where your time goes and how much time is being spent on tasks. If you would be outraged that an employee took so long to complete a task then revamp that task. I recommend setting a timer or placing a time limit for tasks. You will find you get the work completed within the time frame or sooner. You will be focused.

4. Delegate – delegate any task that does not bring you JOY. Find a virtual assistant or outsource to FIVERR or Elance if you do not have employees. Many tasks can be done faster and better by someone else. You do not have to do everything. Remember, two heads are often better than one. I would personally be lost without my team to jump in and help when I am sick, helping a client in crisis, or just by doing the tasks I don’t like to do. Give up control and delegate so you can focus on revenue generating tasks.

5. Invest in Self Care – you need to be the top priority for your business. This includes your physical and mental well-being. If you are not physically and mentally in shape you will be no good to your business. This means you may need to adopt an exercise program. You are worth the 30 or 60 minutes a day needed to focus on your health. When you exercise your body will release endorphins and you will have mental clarity. Your mood will be elevated for hours afterward. This will cause you to be more creative and productive as well as just a more pleasant person to be around.

Are you ready to start jumping out of bed to get your day started? Implementing my five tips above will help you have a positive mindset and more energy. This will aid you in attracting abundance. The Laws of Attraction are always at work. Like attracts like – don’t attract negative. Adopt a positive mindset so that you attract positive things for you and your business.

Sending wishes for an abundant 2016!

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